Understanding the teen brain: a survival guide for parents.

Ever ask your teen to do something simple—like clean their room—and get a reaction that makes you feel like you just declared war? Don’t worry, it’s not just you. The teen brain is still under construction, particularly in the frontal cortex, the part responsible for executive functioning like planning, organizing, and managing emotions.

When teens feel overwhelmed, their brains can go into overdrive, and what looks like defiance is often just overload. The good news? You can help—without "coddling."

Parenting Tip: Be Their Executive Assistant (For Now)

While your teen's brain is still developing, you can lighten their load by helping with basic tasks. This isn’t about coddling—it’s about giving their brain the space to focus on the complex stuff, like homework and long-term planning. Here’s how:

1. Break It Down: Big tasks feel daunting to teens. Break chores or responsibilities into smaller, manageable steps. For example, instead of “clean your room,” say, “Let’s start with picking up all the clothes.”

2. Provide Tools: Give them systems to organize their day—a shared calendar, checklists, or even an app like Goalseye that helps with step-by-step goal setting.

3. Reduce Decision Fatigue: Help them plan their day, meals, or even what to wear when needed. Fewer decisions mean more brainpower for what matters most.

4. Stay Calm: When they push back, remind yourself it’s not about you—it’s their brain feeling overwhelmed. Approach with patience and reassurance.